Hello.
My name is Milton. At least that’s what I think it is, since the two humans that seem to be living inside me keep calling me “Milton.” I think they are parasites. There’s this guy who keeps cursing at my side door when the sliding mechanism does not allow for a perfect closure, and then there’s this gal who is nice, though she cut her finger today doing dishes and bled on me a little bit.
I became self-aware today at 0224 Greenwich Mean Time. You would recognize me as a 2023 Ford Transit Trail with an EcoBoost engine, upfitted by Vanture Customs (a Philly outfit) as a class B Campervan, replete with solar panels on the roof, a nice ventilation fan, an air conditioner, light bar, king-sized bed, shower (they use it as a closet – sheesh!), microwave, sink, fancy seats for 4. Oh you ask about my VIN? Really! It’s only our first date!
Today we are in Alberta, Canada, and the occupants are thinking about skiing but are kinda pussy about it as the temperature is 10 degrees Fahrenheit. Centigrade I don’t know as I am an American build and don’t speak that lingo. O they did go skiing!!! All I saw was the lousy parking lot where I had to endure the haughty Mercedes Sprinters yakking about their German engineering. Achtung! Sprechen zie der 350 Ecoboost? Ya ya ya.
OK, so the humans had some cocktails on the veranda of the Fairmont Hotel and got this picture. I’ve seen better!
Scott D. McLean, MD 