Last week, no bueno. Sitting in that dealership back lot, all lonely, and this International Scout was droning on about the border and the arroyos in Presidio County. Back in the day. He had been through 12 sets of tires. Twelve? And he was telling me about every flat. But who am I to complain, I’m just a young Ford, a Transit Trail, model year 2023, converted to a campervan and now with 20,000 miles but still wet behind the fenders. I was in for service. Purgatory! Guess I’ll get used to it. At least the new oil makes my EcoBoost (turbocharged, direct-injection gasoline engine) dance a jig. How fitting – it’s St. Patrick’s Day.
The recall items were lost in the supply-chain funhouse and the dealer was being patient but the owners said fugedaboudit because the parts wern’t coming in until April. They brought me home and returned most of my usual Class B RV bling – first aid kit, bedding, towels, table and chairs. My 30 Amp charging apparati have been stowed. The Starlink Mini and electronics cords are back in the cabinet behind the driver’s seat. We still need to update the Ecoflow firmwear, but the lithium batteries seem content here in the warm Texas springtime weather. We drove out to the covered storage area, a relief as hail season is here. I hear the overlords talking about an excursion to Big Bend soon. Nice.
I also just learned that there is a thing called a birthday, and I just had one – a whole year has passed since the papers were signed and gold bullion delivered to allow these naïve people to claim my ownership. A whole year! I did not think it was a big deal, but they did, and they gave me a birthday present: my very own Instagram account.
They asked me what name I would like to use. Of course I replied, in a voice that was surprisingly meek, “Milton.” They said no, that was already taken. I was shocked. You mean there’s more than one Milton! Turns out there’s millions. Gosh dang it. Well, we worked and worked on some variations. Finally, we hit the jackpot. My Instagram name is MiltonTTrail. It’s unique. It’s drip. It’s gas. It’s giving me life. Green flag. MiltonTTrail is on fleek.
OK. Thank you, overlords, for my birthday present. It’s the best ever.
This is gonna be fun.
Scott D. McLean, MD 